30 Things I’ve Learned in My 30 Years of Life
Wow! It feels so strange to type out those words. Looking back on the past decade, it seems like time went by so fast, but it also feels like my early 20s were another lifetime. This is one of those major milestone birthdays that you sit and ask yourself, “Do I have it all together? Am I where I imagined I would be in life by this time? Am I checking all the boxes off?” Let me just tell you the answer to all of those questions for me is absolutely not! But I am so thankful for where I am today and I 100% believe that every experience I have in life, good and bad, serves a purpose to help me grow, challenge my perspectives, and will continue to shape the person I become. Hitting the third decade of life can actually be pretty great, here is a list of 30 things I have learned or advice that has stayed with me over the last 30 years:
1 – I am all about focusing on the journey and not the destination. Life is ever evolving and there will always be another goal to tackle, another milestone to achieve. Being present is much more rewarding than always thinking about “what’s next”.
2 – Being controversial isn’t always a bad thing. Having everyone like you isn’t always a good thing.
3 – If you want to do something, do it. I was so nervous about what people would think when I first started this blog. Would so and so judge me? Would they think I’m copying someone because they already have a blog? Would people even read it? Who the heck cares! I had to finally tell myself it doesn’t matter what those people think. There are a million blogs out there, we all got the idea from somewhere. The people you really want in your life and should be concerned about are the ones who are supportive of things that make you happy and want to see you succeed. My point is, if you want to pursue a hobby that you enjoy and love, DO IT. I’ve learned that when you set your mind on something with a passion, all the other noise drowns out.
4 – On that note, be a good friend! Be happy for those in your circle when you see them succeed and celebrate them.
5 – Time heals. That’s all that needs to be said here.
6 – There is nothing better than a good nights sleep. I have found that any time Matt and I have had an argument late at night, it’s almost always solved the next morning when we have a fresh and clear mind and he is ready to apologize. Just kidding! When we are both more willing to see the other side. Try not to let things escalate, sleep on it, and have important conversations when you’re both well rested.
7 – Work hard so you can play hard! But don’t work too much. Family first, always.
8 – Be thankful. I spend some time every night thinking of 3 good things that happened that day and really focusing on their impact. I know that not every single day is going to be great, but when you do this, it flips your perspective to make you think about what you learned from a tough situation or how much more you appreciate those good things when they are present.
9 – Spend money wisely. Invest. Invest in yourself, invest in your future, invest your time in the right relationships.
10 – This really should have been at the top of the list, but have faith. God truly does work in ways that we can’t and won’t always understand. I have leaned on God through soo many struggles in life. Even though I haven’t always found the answers, I’ve recognized that He has a plan and a path for me that would do me no good if I could see it. Again, it’s about the journey and we have to trust it.
11 – Learn to love your imperfections. In my 20s, I could look in a mirror and tell you a list of things I didn’t like about myself. But the truth is, most people don’t even see those things! Love the way God made you and shut off the negative thoughts in your head of what would make you “perfect”. He already made you perfect!
12 – “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it”. This is always a good reminder. There is only a small portion in life that we cannot control. The rest is up to us!
13 – Age is just a number. I think at 23 or 24, I started to realize that I couldn’t tell how old anyone was and it really didn’t matter. It’s a good skill to be able to co-mingle with people at work (and in general) who are both younger and older than you. My husband, Matt, is a year younger than me and everyone would still ID me and not him (pre-pregnancy and pre-covid when we could go out like normal people and have drinks). I would laugh and say thank you! I have my momma’s youthful genes.
14 – I’ve heard that “your 20s are for enjoying yourself and your 30s are for learning lessons from your 20s”. Take some time to reflect every once in awhile. I think writing is therapeutic and can help you gather your thoughts and learn from the past.
15 – You will go through different seasons with different people. Some will stick around through it all and some you might grow apart from. That’s OK! Things don’t work out sometimes for a reason and you will navigate through life often times with people who are in the same phase as you.
16 – Put in the effort to maintain good relationships. It is a LOT more work after college to see and spend time with friends when we all go off and become more settled into our own lives in different cities. You can’t assume that everyone is going to take the same approach as you, but you can adjust your expectations. You will find your people, you just have to make room for them by not prioritizing people who are not prioritizing you.
17 – Most people are doing the best they can with what they have. You will never get time back that you waste making judgments about someone else.
18 – Love on Mommas. I have always thought highly of my parents but being pregnant, I have gained so much more respect for what my Mom went through to bring us into the world. Don’t judge or “mom shame” them for doing things different than you. Everyone is doing the best they can and that is enough.
19 – Speaking of family, you only get one! So treat them well. If you don’t have a great relationship with your immediate family, be very intentional about how you’d like to lead your own family some day and start new traditions with them. My family is the one constant I have had in all of my 30 years and they have helped shape and influence what I believe to be core values.
20 – Perfection is not real. Most of the things you see on social media are people sharing about their highlights. Good for them! I think they should be. Most people like to focus on the positive things that happen or what they are proud of. Just don’t let yourself think that someone’s Instagram feed is representative of their full life. We all have bad days. We all struggle a little every now and then and for some, it’s just plain hard to share and talk about the difficult things. Give yourself grace when you think someone has it all together and you don’t. That’s just not reality.
21 – Things won’t always go the way you plan. I will be honest, I am totally a planner. I am always planning the future. If we have a trip coming up, I probably have it planned out weeks in advance. I have to have some sort of idea of what to expect and then I can flex along the way, but going into most things I have to have a plan. Talk about a change of plans when you’re pregnant during covid! This experience has been totally different than what I ever expected my first pregnancy to be like. But that’s life. We have to be adaptable and learn how to transition quickly.
22 – “Comparison is the thief of joy.” How many times have you heard that? Probably a thousand. We all know it but it’s sometimes hard to actually live by. We’re all guilty of comparing ourselves to someone else and easily pointing out what we wish we had. But what good does that do? No two lives are the same and our individual uniqueness is what makes a person great. Focus on all the great things you DO have and what makes you, you!
23 – Get outside! With our generation becoming so technology crazed and spending so much time starting at a screen, we have to prioritize exercise and getting outside. I want to truly make an effort to continue to take walks or jog outside so that it will become habit for our kids. Growing up, it seemed like I was always outside with my brother either running at the track or playing some kind of sport. Now days, there are too many electronic devices to keep kids distracted at such a young age!
24 – Don’t wait for things to happen to you. No one can fight for your dreams and goals better than you can.
25 – The universe will always test you when it feels like the most inconvenient time. We are never going to be happy about the timing of bad news or difficult circumstances. Let yourself feel the emotions you do, and then look for the silver lining and try to learn something as you move forward.
26 – Learn from people who disagree with you. As a nation, I think we could do a better job of having conversations where we are actually open minded about hearing what the other person has to say. It’s so easy to have discussions with people who agree with everything you say, but how boring! We are all a product of our own life experiences and we could learn a thing or two from each other. I’ve learned that sometimes my opinions aren’t “right”, they’re just how I feel based on how I have lived and what I have seen. It is so important to be able to hear another perspective and try to understand why someone might think differently than you.
27 – You already have everything you need inside you. Remember that!
28 – Life goes on. Things can seem like such a big deal in the heat of a moment, but moments are fleeting. There will always be highs and lows. Focus on the highs, learn from the lows.
29 – True wealth is a life rich in experience.
30 – Try to live each day like it could be your last. Create experiences that will be worth looking back on and make you smile. At the end of the day, that is really what matters most and what will make your life feel full.
Thanks for reading! I hope you takeaway something good from my experiences and spend some time to think about your own. I’d love to hear about them!
Lots of love,
Maddie
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